I’m An Asshole – Dennis Leary

Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat
Down in the bottom of our chests, about the special feeling

We get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver
Maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon, we don’t know

I’m just a regular Joe with a regular job
I’m your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war

I’ve got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain’t enough
To keep a man like me interested
(Oh no)
No way
(Uh-uh)