This one’s for a friend having a tough time right now….

In this clip from the excellent BBC documentary “Secret Life of a Manic Depressive” Stephen Fry, in midst of a black cloud, talks about how he experiences depression – a wall of blank nothingness.

There comes a time when the blankness of future is so extreme, it is such a black wall of nothingness

“There comes a time when the blankness of future is so extreme, it is such a black wall of nothingness:  not even of bad things – it’s not like there’s a cave full of monsters that you’re afraid of entering the future . It is just nothingness – the neo as the French would say – la vide, the void. emptyiness….. and it is just horrible.”

..of how how he tends to deal with it –

 “usually I hide away”

“for me that dumbing kind of depression comes thre to four tmes a year and lasts a week to ten days. I spend the time inside the house, staring at the ceiling “

…and of how he’s never really thought of himself as someone who hears voices…

” but I do: I have this constant voice berating me, telling me I’m ‘a piece of shit’  all the time in my head.”

“I’ve never really thought of myself as someone who hears voices, but I do”

“but it’s clearly my voice .”

Mood to me is like weather

“Mood to me is like weather. If it’s raining, it’s no good saying it isn’t raining it s real.”

see the whole thing at

Related articles

• secret life of the manic depressive – Stephen Fry (recoverynetworktoronto.wordpress.com)
• uppy-downy mood-swingy kind of guy – Stephen Fry (recoverynetworktoronto.wordpress.com)
• Hay Festival 2012: Stephen Fry ‘wanted to die’ during QI episodes because of depression (telegraph.co.uk)