What’s it like round here?


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Seth Godin often pops something into my inbox that shows me a way to say something I’m struggling to find a way to say and to share…

Community standards

“What’s it like around here?”

It’s a fair question to ask about an office, a home, a town…

“Why do people act like that, talk like that, treat others that way?”

The only reason they do is because we let them. People can’t violate community standards for long without being asked to leave the community. Either that, or the standards change.

– Seth Godin

 

Life is hard and dealing with a lifetime of pain is hard. For everyone.

In support groups we try to make a bit more space than we might find  elsewhere – but there are limits to what people can bear.

When we take up all the space for our own pain we pass on the hurt to others.
Hurt people hurt people. 

Understanding our own pain and choosing to limit our capacity to pass it on is a step in finding compassion and making difficult the choice to contribute to a less violent world – a world that is easier to live in.

Still, if we consistently insist on imposing our crap on a group, with hostility, bullying, aggression and violence towards the group and the individuals in it; when we  deal with our pain by throwing our shit around the room and expecting others to just put-up-and-shut-up, then we can expect to be asked to leave.

Sometimes, when we are trying to create and offer safe spaces we have to do the hard thing and ask someone to leave.

Being asked to leave does not mean you can’t come back – that’s within your gift and your choice.

If you come to one of our groups or gatherings all we ask is that you take responsibility for your part in co-creating safety for each other.

And if you can’t do that for now- or if you choose not to – then we ask you to come back when you can.

 

Posted in Abuse, Healing, Learning, Trauma | 4 Comments

Confabulation TO – Wed 7th Dec 2016


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Confabulation is a great night out in Montreal, Toronto and Victoria.
Storytelling as performance with stories that are true, mostly true and that you wanna believe to be true.

At this week’s Confabulation TO, Wed 7th Dec at 7:30pm…
Kevin Healey of recoverynet.ca and the HVN – Hearing Voices Network – will be one of the storytellers with a story about different kind of “family” , invisible freinds, an dthe importance of wierd freinds and whanau.

Confabulation – Toronto
#ConfabTO

Burdock Music Hall
1184 Bloor Street West – Toronto

Date/Time
Date(s) – Wednesday, December 7, 2016
7:30 pm – 9:00 pm

December is all about family and traditions, and even when we move to new cities, we bring along those traditions to share with our new family.

Join our Toronto Confabulation clan on Wednesday, December 7th at Burdock for Family Stories: Legend and Lore from the Ones we Love.

Tickets: $10 (http://burdockto.com/shows/?show=475)

More      Confabulation- Toronto

 

Doors at 7pm / Show at 7:30pm

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long black veil – Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds


nick-caveNobody knows
Nobody sees
Nobody knows
– but me

 

Ten years ago on a cool dark night
There was someone killed ‘neath the town hall light
There were few at the scene and they all did agree
That the man who ran looked a lot like me

The judge said, son, what is your alibi?
If you were somewhere else, then you won’t have to die
I spoke not a word, though it meant my life
I had been in the arms of my best friend’s wife

She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave where the night winds wail
Nobody knows, no, and nobody sees
Nobody knows but me

The sky froze high and eternity neared
She stood in the crowd and shed not a tear
But sometimes at night when the cold wind moans
In a long black veil she cries over my bones

She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave where the night winds wail
Nobody knows, no, and nobody sees
Nobody knows but me

Written by Danny Dill, Marijohn Wilkin
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we are all weird


Being Different is why there are so many of us.
But difference is not easy.

We just dont need to live our lives these days conforming to some narrow band in the middle of a widely dispersed distribution of wants, needs, ways of being,  anything.

Not only is it possible to live outside the narrow band, but on the edges and have a life worth living – our life – its why we are here.

Normal is actually what fits under the great normal distribution bell curve in the in sky – everything. 

Seth Godin, talking from a marketing perspective but the ideas are universal, philosophical – of how marketers and businesses are learning this, and having more interesting lives themselves figuring out how to offer more interesting stuff to meet different needs rather than force everyone to buy what they find easiest to make, ship and sell to us.

We are all weird is a book too…
we-are-all-weird

We Are All Weird:
The Myth of Mass and The End of Compliance.

 

 

 

 

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sound of silence – Nouela


nouela

Hello darkness, my old friend,

 

 

Sound of Silence
Lyrics: Paul Simon

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools” said I,
“You do not know, silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming
And the signs said,
“The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whisper’d in the sounds of silence

Facebook: nouelamusic

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everybody’s happy nowadays….


buzzcocksLife’s an illusion, love is the dream
But I don’t know what it is
Everyone’s saying things to me
But I know it’s okay, okay

Everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays

Everybody’s happy nowadays – The Buzzcocks

Pete Shelly

I was so tired of being upset
Always wanting something I never could get
Life’s an illusion, love is a dream
But I don’t know what it is

Everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays

I was so tired of being upset
Always wanting something I never could get
Life’s an illusion, love is a dream
But I don’t know what it is

‘Cause everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays

Life’s an illusion, love is the dream
But I don’t know what it is
Everyone’s saying things to me
But I know it’s okay, okay

Everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays

Everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays

Life’s an illusion, love is a dream
Life’s an illusion, love is the dream
Life’s the illusion, love is a dream
Life’s the illusion, love is the dream

Everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays, days

Bet you are tired of being upset
Always wanting something you never can get
Life’s no illusion, love’s not a dream
Now, I know just what it is

Everybody’s happy nowadays
Everybody’s happy nowadays

Written by Peter Shelley
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The Detective who hears voices and sees dead people


john-river

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a simple plan to improve mental health services…


do-less-stuff-that-sucks

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chez les ye ye… serge gainsbourg


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MADx Friday 25th November


MADx is about voice – finding and using yours, and about witnessing others as they find and use theirs.

MADx is about rebellion-freeing ourselves from ideas others have about who or wha they would have us  be.
 
MADx is about F-F-Friday! and especially about Friday night – it’s a party, eh? 

Be there – or be somewhere else…

madx-fri-25nov

Featuring…

MC Seema
Annu Saini
George Zancola
Asante Haughton
Jenni Rosser 
Pam Hyatt
Richard Lett
Stacey Bowen
Donna Linklater 
Brenda Lennie

 

More! More! More!

Website:                           www.the-rebellion.ca
Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/309974752714482/

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