Placebo Psychiatrist shown to be effective in totally random trials


Real world trials demonstrate that Dr Ken Placebo Psychiatry – when administered regularly – is at least as effective as  doing nothing; and three times more effective as yer average bio-bio-bio Psychiatrist for most populations – and unlike some psychiatric hospitals, there is a gift shop you can exit via.

Administered daily, Dr Ken Placebo Psychiatrist can help people heal without the typically atypical harmful side effects:  isolation, “stigma”, toxic-poisoning, obesity, brain-damage, poverty, social isolation, constipation like a death star up yer bum , as well as  DEATH itself that are experienced by patients of standard bio-bio-bio-talk-to-the-hand-poly-psycho-pharmatherpy psychiatrists.

When interviewed in post trial interviews, test subjects who received Dr Ken Placebo reported, as two memorably said:

“that Dr Ken, he’s  a really good listener, much better than a real psychiatrist”.

“he doesn’t lie about chemical imbalances, he just sits there looking orange”

Dr Ken Placebo Psychiatrist is also believed to be more resistant to pernicious influence of  mass bombardment of poly-psycho-pharma advertising beamed by conspirators  from south of that border.

Not one of literally a handful of respondents cited Dr Ken, Placebo Psychiatrist’s inability to prescribe drugs as a problem – “if I need drugs -there’s always the guy on the street corner for that, and his drugs are more fun”.

Side effects of Placebo Psychiatry are considered minor but researchers do highlight a  risk of an unusual prevalence amongst participants of a  liking for the colour pink.

As lead researcher Tom Dick-Harry said: “Clearly,  more research is required, and it’s my job to say that.”

 

Dr Ken Placebo Psychiatrist costs $35.99 retail- which, compared with a psychiatrist’s salary, represents a huge potential saving to healthcare budgets worldwide..

In totally random and made-up six-week, double-blind, randomly-randomized, placebo-controlled and double-hyphenated trials following gold standard protocol meaning half the data was flushed down the toilet, Dr Ken Placebo Psychiatrist was demonstrated to work better than plain-old Placebo-placebo but not better than placebo fresh air and exercise and not nearly as much fun as placebo literally laughing so much your socks fly off. 
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For more info, just make it up. It’s what they do.

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7 Responses to Placebo Psychiatrist shown to be effective in totally random trials

  1. Ursery says:

    Thank you for this! You have taken pharmocotherapy mouth mush to
    A. Whole. ‘Nother. Level.
    Well done, sir!

    Like

  2. My placebo socks just flew through a black hole!

    Like

  3. maie says:

    Kevin Healy and Dave Umbongo – the brilliant voice of the new psychiatry – do no harm

    Like

  4. Suzan Kennedy says:

    Omg Kevin! HILARIOUS!

    Like

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