letting go of should – encore


letting go of shouldA year ago I wrote a piece that was published in the Toronto CSI Info Bulletin, an information resource for survivors in Toronto area.

In Canada I find it curoius that TV doesn’t do repeats but “encore presentations”… what bollocks but, if you like,  consider this an encore presentation, one year down the line: partly so I can remind myself of what it says; but also partly to underline what this site is  about; partly so I can acknowledge what this little thinkpiece has done for me; and partly to thank Helen and Coleen for their help in editing and putting it out there in the world.

In the past twelve months I’ve had lots of conversations about “should”  and with many different people – even had a friend, Peter, write an article about my article in  Canadian industry magazine of the year Todays  Trucking  after  conversation we had about shoulding and stuff at a neighbourhood street party .

In a way the past year has been a little like Einstein’s thought experiment – the one where we imagine ourselves riding on a beam of light – if we could travel at the speed of light the world would stand still. Except its the opposite effect – as I find myself more and more letting go of should I notice the world rushing round  more and more enslaved to should and I am so grateful that I’m learning to live my life with less and less Healey at first. But, like anything that takes practice, I find it becomes easier and more natural. I get what I want more often and feel less disappointed when I don’t.

Lately, I rarely think should except to explain how I don’t believe in should. When the word does pop out from my lips it is a surprise, and I notice I can feel more compassion.

When I feel a should coming on, I make a point of noticing it, how it feels, and can be grateful for that. I ask myself “where from within me does that come from?” I try to work with that stuff that’s mine.

Then I can smile, breathe, and I find I can just let the should go.

© Kevin Healey  Aug 2011

Original published here

http://www.csinfo.ca/bulletin/Bulletin_448.pdf

Advertisements

About recoverynetwork:Toronto

We believe people can and do recover from "mental illness" - because we are living it. We believe in the power of supporting each other: learning from and with each other. You are welcome to join us..
This entry was posted in Ideas, resilience. Bookmark the permalink.