Sounds like something from  Joseph Heller’s Catch 22.
In fact it sounds just like Catch #22 itself.

When they got you they got you, you can’t escape because escaping is why they got you in the first place.

Certainly sounds like something you’ll get from MAJOR MAJOR, the most severe cases being referred to as – MMMUDD.

MIUUDD – contentious term
The term MUDD is subject of some contention- some argued it is more properly and fully known as MIUUDD – Medically Inexplicably Unexplainable Unexplained Disorder Disorder but at the rigged-vote count the majority ruled that would lead the greater public to become confused, believing that “mental health professionals”  -who after all get paid to lead us to believe they do know – are full of shit and have no idea what they’re talking about.

MUDD- Disambiguation
Not to be confused with:

Mud, glorious mud
Mud has healing properties, especially if you get it on you- mind you dont get it up yer bum, though eh?
.
.
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Major Tom
Found himself on  bit of a sticky wicket out in space, luckily the sky was blue and there was nothing he could do. With no doctor doctors around to throw mud at him, did he take his pills and keep his helmet on?

.

Tom Cobbley and All
That’s a lot of people on one horse, especially with the roads as muddy as they wuz, back then.

Aetiology
Most likely, you’ll contract MUDD from your ordinary,  Doctor Doctor, as played out in this all too familiar scene…

You:                    

“Doctor Doctor, can’t you feel I’m Burning, Burning !?

Doctor Doctor:  

‘I can’t explain!’

[scratches chin]

‘Looks like an open and closed case of Medically Unexplainable Disorder Disorder.’

Judge:

“Order, order”

Audience:

“Oi !! Oi !! “

All:                         “Ole, ole! ole! ole! ole!

Funny how they call This “medicine” yet claim other forms of medicine are “unscientific” and “quackery”.